Road Stories

928 vs. Testarossa

Several years ago I was sitting at a traffic signal in Palm Beach, heading for one of the bridges that connect to the mainland. I had my 82 year old aunt in the car with me. This particular bridge has only one lane in each direction, but the approach to it has a parking lane to the right of that. There were no cars parked next to me, but about four or five hundred feet ahead there were several cars parked just short of the bridge. A clown pulled up next to me in the parking lane in a TR and proceeded to rev it up like he was on the drag strip at Moroso. When the light changed we both nailed it. My poor old aunt was in deep shock, screaming at me to slow down. I couldn't. The devil was holding my right foot down. (I hate myself when I occasionally do things like that} We were absolutely neck and neck for the first four hundred feet. The last 100 feet were taken up by Tazio Nuvolari in the TR sliding with all four wheels locked up to avoid smashing into the parked cars ahead of him. I figure that he probably flat spotted about 1500 dollars worth of tires.

My aunt was extremely narrow minded about it. Even after I told her that she had just become part of history by riding in one of the very few cars that ever outdragged a TR on a public street. She of course, could care less, not knowing the difference between a Testarossa and the Graf Zeppelin. A few days later I parked next to a TR and went to lunch at one of the local hangouts. When I came out the TR was gone and someone had "keyed" my car. I can't get back at him unless I key every TR in Palm Beach, and they're all over the place, and of course they're all red. My aunt told me that God was punishing me. She may be right, but the guy who works on my car compounded out the scratch and it was worth it.

Note to Bill Crosby et al. No lives were endangered. No pedestrians or other cars nearby. The only damage done was to the TRs tires, and the driver's ego and underwear. Also, when we reached our destination, my aunt, who had been slowing down the past few years, sprang out of the Porsche like an Olympic gymnast and never even thanked me. I felt deep remorse for close to three nano seconds. After all, isn't this one of the things that 928s are about? Besides, I'll bet Tazio will think twice before he tries to drag race anyone in a parking lane again.

Gene O'Rourke