Road Stories

Have a Nice Day

There I was, sitting at a light by myself, at six this morning. About an eighth mile ahead, the road narrowed to one lane, lined with orange barrels. It was an idle construction site, that took the road across the median, to the other side, for about a half mile, and then back. All of this was lined with orange barrels, and very narrow. Any way, back to the story. There I was sitting at this light, when it turns green. Out of nowhere, a set of headlights comes up on my left. He's already rolling, and is obviously going to pass me before we get the single lane. Of course, I wasn't going to let that happen. I nail it, the back tires squeal, and he never gets quite next to me. The shark is running at its peak, in the cool morning air, and he never stood a chance. Though I could hear his big V8 roar, as he nailed it. I quickly gained a few lengths on him, by the time we reached the orange barrels. I'm thinking, "He didn't do bad, I can't wait to see what kind of car it was." So, we reached the barrels, and I slowed to fifty. After all, it was a thirty five MPH zone. Well, this guy catches up to me, and stays right on my bumper, which really annoyed me. So I nail it again, and easily loose him again, through the long S. As I pass a sign, at seventy five MPH, that says, "construction site, 35 MPH, I say to my self, that could be a cop, you dummy. Na! By this time I'm exiting the orange barrel chicane, and back to normal road. I looked in my rear view, to see what happened to him, and that's when he hit the blue lights. Busted!!! I'm in Hall county Ga., I'm going to jail. So I pull over, hands on the steering wheel, and wait. This young cop comes up on my left, and says, while almost laughing, "didn't see me back there, did you?" No sir. Well, he takes my cards, and proceeds to walk around my car. Post race inspection? He then came back to me, handed me my cards, and said, while still almost laughing, "75 in a 35, do you know what that would do to your insurance? You have a nice day Mr. Hagerty, and slow down, or at least watch who you're racing the next time." I'm thinking, this isn't really happening. "Yes sir, and thank you sir. I'll have a great day." (as soon as I stop shaking) None of this would have happened, if I would have honored my night driving rule. Never speed, when you don't know what kind of car the headlights behind you belong to.
Have a nice day!

Tom H.
86.5 928S
A/T w/chips & RMB



Yesterday I had interesting little "event". My lovely bride has been on trial out of town for a week, so I have been balancing the home front along with my own practice. Yesterday our youngest had her ballet class (on pointe at age 12, please note my pride) starting at 5:15. Our house is 30 miles north of the office and ballet is 20 miles north of the house. Needless to say departing from the office at 4:30 placed a strain on the timing. The beast, a 1981 five speed, has been running very strong since the injectors were reworked and balanced so I decided to make up some time in the growing traffic. Now, I am not crazed, don't have a poor driving record etc., and generally drive with traffic, am a grey haired properly suited attorney, not trying to make waves or attract attention... small exception today. As I merged from interstate 90 east to interstate 787 north through an multi lane merge ramp, I elected to proceed ahead of three cars merging from the right at "road speed" about 55mph. I left the beast in the left lane and shifted from fourth to fifth at about 5000 rpm, sailing by the group of three. The middle car was, of course, a New York State Trooper. At this point I was well into the general traffic on 787, and over into the third lane moving right along in fifth. Unlike Scott, stopping was not a safe option as it would require re-crossing three lanes of high speed traffic so I just settled in and waited. Not long until I saw the trooper move to the left lane and begin to come on, no lights, no siren just MOOVVIN! I then moved right and pulled off. The subsequent conversation was friendly enough, "I had my window down, it sure sounded smooth going by" and "How much pull did you have left when you shifted, it didn't sound strained at all." A review of the computer records and clean license plus a daughter in ballet for the trooper got me a stern warning and a suggestion to try Lime Rock instead. I am glad the beast is Pacific metallic blau instead of Guards red. P.S. have to admit there is a certain rush when you ask for a little and get alot from an eighteen year old car. I guess thats why we own them.

Jon D.
1981 5 speed



Here is another good one. Went to the Silverstate Classic last spring. One of the rules is no race if you get a ticket in Nevada in last 3 mos.(or so) so going to the race, I went almost the limit. Know how hard that is to do in Nevada? The race was great, I was just a course worker to find out how it is all done. Lotsa fast pretty cars, big parade through Ely, Nevada. Great folks.
On the way home, I let it loose a bit, but the troopers were looking for just that very thing. I got zapped on my Valentine at 140, standing on the nose, rear wheels testing the ABS system. I think, "Aha, I beat another one, then looked down and was still doing 85, felt like about 35. Trooper whips around, I stop, he starts drooling on the car and says, "I always wanted to sit in one of these here Porchs." I said, "By all means, officer, try her on for size." He shoves his gun round front and tries to climb in, but his flat trooper hat won't fit. I hold out my hand, he passes it through the door, and cinches up the 6 point, while I stand there on the interstate in my shorts and flip flops and his trooper hat on my head, leaning against his camaro chase car, wishing for a camera. He finally wrote me for 75 in a 70 zone(said too many of his buddys had seen him with the racecar pulled over) So in a way, we both got what we wanted, I got to wear a troopers hat, and he sat in a porch. Ticket was only 15 bucks or so, and I saw him at the next race--he had to watch me go past at 150.

Don Hanson



As I was blowing through southern PA on my way back to Harrisburg from Baltimore a while ago, I passed through a construction zone with a posted speed limit of 45mph. Cleverly hidden on the far side of some construction material was a PA State trooper with instant-on radar. I found out my radar detector worked just fine, but it was too late, as the trooper had me clocked at 85 (big $$$). As soon as the detector went off, I looked in the rear view and saw him starting to pull out to come after me. I knew I was busted, so I pulled over before he even turned on his lights or had to chase me. As he swaggered up to the drivers side window, I couldn't help but laugh.

He said, "You got a radar detector in there?"
I said, "Yes sir."
He came back with, " I thought so. I saw you smoke the landing gear on your aircraft when I turned on my radar."
Still laughing (I couldn't help myself) I told him he picked a great hiding place and that there's no way I could have known he was there until I was caught.

He thought for a second, started laughing himself and said, "Yeah, it is a pretty good place, isn't it? Listen, I had to chase some guy for 3 miles in traffic a little while ago and it really ticked me off. Thanks for pulling
over so fast. Try and keep it under the speed limit on your way home. OK? Have a nice day." And he left.

Needless to say, the rest of that drive was the first time I ever drove my shark 55 mph on the highway.

Paul Mooradian
'93 GTS A/T
'83 S 5 spd